


Compulsive addictions

by AllisonNoir



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Mind Manipulation, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 16:57:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13194510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonNoir/pseuds/AllisonNoir
Summary: Light has one more step to eliminate in fine L, and reaches his victory. But L has also plans. Just one more convicting proof what he needs to catch Kira. The brain and the god of the new world... the question is who will has the chance before the other to achieve the aim. Who will win the last fight?





	Compulsive addictions

**Compulsive addictions**

  
  
_Okay, that’s weird. Why does he doing this? It’s not necessary. And why I am not doing anything against it? God, he is weird. But, that’s a fact. But that kinda weird?_

“Sss…” he hissed as the pressure became too strong.

“With time, you will get used the pain.” said the other and slowly looked to him with his puffy, black eyes. Then he turned back to his action, to give him a foot massage, what Light was just incapable to explain in his mind, even the fact how this ridiculous idea was born in the other’s head. This thought was just unaccountable. But he let him.

The long, skinny fingers were still cold. The rain outside chilled both of them. However theirs body was already dry, the skin needed more time to re-warm itself, especially the limbs. But L’s thumbs have started to heat himself. His toe burned and went dead under each pressure. He had to confess that somehow L was well-trained in this skill too, as he had said, but he could have just never thought that he was capable to do this with his almost dead, bony, lifeless fingers. Although the guy was definitely able to kick his ass sometimes, so he had to have some basic skill or something like that. He was inexplicable. More Light has known him, more he has become fascinated by him and by his stuffs. Like this one was.

That was definitely their weirdest moment. They had just come inside from the roof and from a strange conversation about bells and nonsense things. Light couldn’t know where to put the voiced sentences, not even this, but even L’s whole behaviour during the day. He had talked with Rem and he almost called him to account.

_He looked so sad in the rain, almost like someone who is aware of the time of his own death…_

Light freezed for a moment, luckily his surprise wasn’t visibly from the outside. His body has already known how to lie and cover his feelings. Anyway till the massage distracted L, he had time to think. When he will look up next time, he was already aware of what to do. Thus till that time Light closed his eyes and made his brain to think as quick as possible to be one step before the great detective.

_Is it possible that he has already known what I am planning to do? In that case what he expects from me? It might be again a test. How should I react if I am Kira and how when I am not. Hard to find out an acceptable way to react to it then. Nice try, Ryuzaki, but I’m not that stupid to reveal myself to you, especially not now when I am so close. The only question is by whom I should do the final step? The when is optional. But you have already written your death sentence. That’s already beyond redemption._

“Please, forgive me.” murmured L suddenly, barely distintebly, what hoiked him from his thoughts. The detective continued. “I wasn’t a really good friend. To tell the truth, I don’t really know how to be a one. I hope that you could understand this. But you… you were a good friend, Light.” he said and released Light’s toe. The pale guy stayed in silence for a moment, what made Light think again. He was on a razor-edge, especially such close to the home straight.

_It was a confession? Why he says that now? Does he know I am planning to kill him? He has been acting weird the whole day. First, the questions to Rem about the teared up slice of paper, then the freedom bullshit, why I am still here beside him and the short termed meetings with Misa. He almost figured the situation out, but there were the new rules. Yeah, I was, luckily enough smart to take that step. With the fake added lines to the back of the book, me and Misa’s fate were hedged. But then the rain, when he had been standing in the rain, lifelessly than usual. Then this. What he expects from me, what he expects from Kira? That’s the real question now. Figure it out, Light. He can’t catch you now._

_The bells. He had mentioned some damned bells. God, that had been creepy._

But as he thought about it, it made sense.

_He was terrified._

“L…” he started, but he didn’t know what to say. But than the whole clogged together, the nuance details. He leaned down and smoothly seized the pale face and turned towards him. The big black eyes looked to him terrified, but he didn’t expect else. He slowly pulled him closer and before his aim could have become visible on his face, he kissed him. He felt as the other freezed and the white, still cold limbs stayed for the sudden surprise motionlessly. He had known that as he kept him tight the other’s eyes are closed as slowly started to accept his situation. For Light it was weird firstly too, unspeakably, but then the whole became natural.

L’s hands heavily have started to get live and vaguely touched Light’s upper arm. He got goosebumps for the action, but he made him senses to adjust to this eery feeling. He had to close out everything else, but them. There was no time to think now rationally. He led his mind according to this.

“Do you have cameras there too?” Light asked as he released his friend for a moment. The answer was a simple headshake. “Good.” he said and pulled the other to the top of the stairs, to the horizontal surface.

“That’s not a good idea, Light.” added L coldly as Light grabbed his hand and kept hold him tight.

“Maybe you are right, but as you used to say, I am sure in this only in five percent.” he smiled. “And this fact is enough to take some actions.”

“Hm.” reacted L what could have counted as a laugh from him. Light just figured him out cruelly and there was no doubt, that he noticed it. “Anyway, tell me, Light, what are you planning to do?” he was exceptionally straight, less scared than previously, but his eyes still betrayed his sudden confidence.

“You still take me for Kira. Can’t you just… can’t you just take this thought out of your crazy brain for a little time?” he asked still hold him tight, hoping in a beneficial outcome.

“Actually…” he started but then he continued with something else. “Okay. I’ll switch myself off for a little, and then?” he didn’t need to wait so much for Light’s answer. The brown haired adolescent didn’t even hesitate to take the further actions.

L closed his eyes as Light kissed his neck. His black hair was still wet a little bit and his cold skin felt everything hot and warm. He couldn’t tell when was the last time when he felt himself so much relaxed, and…  _alive_. This feeling and touch was better than Watari’s habitual sleeping therapies. He confessed it hard to himself. Light was good at it. Maybe he has developed his skills in it with Misa, but as he thought about it he had to admit that he was doubt in it. He couldn’t imagine his friend and the golden-blonde pigtails tied model in that way however they have been a couple for a really long time. Misa was too catchy and Light was just like him. He used the girl. In a certain way he loved her but not as a basical boyfriend might love his girlfriend. He has never seen them kissing. Well, he was there too because of the chains, but it had been removed recently. On the other case, Light and Misa were now free. But they didn’t meet with each other since then. It didn’t seem like a trough of a wave in their relationship. It was a cooperation since… since they almost caught the new Kira and found the notebook and Misa has been free…

“Light…” he sighed. “Light…” the other cold hand was already touched his bare skin under his loose bright shirt, drawing small circles on his skinny torso. Light shut his mouth with another kiss.

“Don’t think, L.” he whispered. But he was incapable to do that, against his previous acceptance. He couldn’t switch this off, it didn’t count how hard he has wanted it sometimes. It was him. His brain was L. The widely-known independent detective who has solved every case. Except this. But he was close now, unspeakably close. He was one step away to find out Kira’s identity. He had his suspicions and evidences, he only needed one percent of the whole to make it sure. His words were nothing for the outworld, even the member of his organised task force haven’t believed in him. They needed a clear sight to understand it, an obvious proof.

“What are you doing?” he asked wonderingly as Light unzipped his slightly baggy slacks and slided his fingers to his underpants. The younger’s other hand still hold him tight, he was sure that it would make purple ecchymosis marks on his white skin. Nobody had ever touched him that strong before. Maybe Watari when he had that damn seizures because of his constant insomnia and Near, for almost ages earlier, but that cases didn’t count. Those had been far divergent than his current situation was.

“I said not to think.” Light reminded him immediately. On his face, just a moment, L saw a grin smile what made him terrified again. The bells again came back to his ears just like an alarm bell. What if he was right? What if Light was really Kira? What he would do with him? Would he kill him right here right now? No, he didn’t have the notebook. But he could have a piece of it, for example the missing slice from the founded Death Note. Maybe he has had it now. He has just waited to use it.  _No, that’s incorrect._

“Don’t you think that you have a little God-complex?” he accused the other after his deduction, Light just laughed at him, harshly.

“Just like you, L. Confess it, you can’t live without controlling people. You have to be the prime. You are the first three best detectives. You are needed to be as the best that one identity is not enough for you. And you said I have a God-complex? You know what? I’ll show you how much I have God-complex.” he said and with his last words he grabbed the fabrics on L’s hip and whipped them off with a flash motion. He then quickly made himself ready too and lifted L’s left legs a bit to the air. The pale skinned man didn’t react to it anything, he was common and neutral as he always used to be.

“Otherwise, I have to say that I am slightly disappointed. I thought that you’ll fight against it.” said Light as he entered him, without a warning or a little time to prepare for it both in mind, both in physically. L’s eyes closed and he kept them like that for an almost endless moment. As he opened them, the always tired eyes seemed much more darker and shattered. He has just heaved a deep sigh after the whole, almost unexpected action. His hands fluttered however he was on to hide that fact. He didn’t want to make it noticeable for Light.

“I… I didn’t want to fight against it.” he admitted in a low voice. He exactly knew that his words weren’t enough loud to Light could have heard it. It was a note and reminder for himself, still not to do anything. He let Light do what he wanted to do. But this was too painful and too much to take it without a voice or a mimic. He tried after all everything to keep the sight of apathy.

“You are exceptionally wordless.” Light said to him then. L shaked his head.

“I just… I...” he started, but he was incapable to collect his thoughts to a simple sentence or reaction. He had to hang on Light with hands and squeeze it as the thrusts were again and again reached him. His rational thoughts were distracted by that torture, he has just barely noticed when Light took him into hand. He, this far, looked somewhere else or kept his eyes closed, but as Light touched him he looked straight to him. His black eyes were full of fear. Light didn’t seemed like someone who was embarrassed too, he looked like rather one who were exactly aware of what he has been doing momentary.

And that was the first occasion when L directly switched his brain off, he felt himself completely empty and lonely. Without the thoughts everything was grey and shapeless, just like in a dream. He hoped that he was dreaming. Although the experience of a dream was samely unknown for him as this. He waited the end and tried to survive it. Without his always analysing mind he couldn’t sticked on the details. He had just again and again reminded himself to his original train of thought, why he was doing this and letting it to happen.

The gasps and the soft groans were then again and again put him off from the issue. He wanted to scream and shout what he hasn’t ever done. He wanted to make some noise to escape from it, but he just couldn’t and he didn’t let himself to play with the possibility of such a ridiculous outcome to get out from it somehow. He led himself to this. He made it with himself. Thus the only thing what he could to hang on Light’s back and shoulder and squeeze the other under the pain. He already losted this fight, however he had a purpose with the defeat, he just couldn’t remember it momentary, what was it exactly. He lost his hold on the reality.

“Did you know that I’ve been starting to like you?” asked Light suddenly, and paused his almost inhuman motion. The brown eyes curiously gazed to him waiting for his reaction.

“How do you mean it?” released him L. His friend’s question surprised him.

“You exactly know how I mean it, L.” he whispered to the other’s ivory ear making goosebumps on his skin. The shivering feeling made L’s eyes to be closed again. He didn’t know how to fight against it or the other. Light then continued the previous action but this time his crude bestiality are gone, instead of he was gentle. It confused the detective’s mind. He couldn’t think rationally. As he had said earlier the only thing against the pain was the time, and he was already started to get used to the unknown feeling that Light was inside him, especially with the fact that as the other reached a sensitive point, he has started to enjoy it, or at least his body and senses. And as his body has become distracted, he has started to lose his analysing mind irrevocably.

He has started to tremble as the wave of arousal reached him. The gasps and sighes what he breathed out were full of enjoyment, not with desperateness. It took only a few minutes while Light and he came and as both of them eased on themselves. Light finally released him and tiredly laid beside him. After their breaths became normally the silence fade their brains, everything collapsed and everything went assembled again. Like a pieces of a puzzle.

“I think I was wrong.” L said quickly then and marshalled himself, positioning him to his habitual weird sitting positure, pulling up the knees to his chest. This bare thumbs have already started to massage the others. This body position, rather called as a crouch, calmed him, especially now, his brain immediately went back to the common state as his body got rid of the betraying human feelings. Light seemingly needed more time to come back to life, but as he also sat up he has started to chuckle, it seemed like as an evil laugh what he didn’t want to expose.

“Of course you were wrong. You were wrong in every aspects.” he reflected.

_You thought for a naive second that you’re got me, huh? Now I can take everything to cheat you even if it is about to destroy my only friend. You thought for a moment you’re counted to me? Don’t be naive Ryuzaki. That’s not about us, that’s about Kira and L. It was hard for me too, but I must have done this and took this step to get you. You are naive and weak and…_ human _._

Light didn’t really take attention, his thoughts distracted him and about the surrounding. He not even recognised that L had a call, only when the other said the last sentence and cut the line.

“Give us a moment, Watari. We’ll be there in a sec.” said the pale detective and pulled back his phone to his back pocket. He stayed in silence for a moment and gazed to the space.

“What he said?” reported him Light, but the ivory man ignored the question.

“Convince me.” he said quietly.

“What?”

“Currently I am ninety-eight percent sure that you are Kira. So convince me, you are not.” he explained coldly.

“How did you calculate that?” asked Light almost aggressively, for this total opposite L answered him frustratingly calmed, keeping his forefinger in his mouth during the explanation.

“My final suspicions started when we found the notebook and everybody who had touched it saw the death god. Everybody except you, had followed her nonstop with both curious and terrified eyes, every single time. I looked her too, but not as the others. She couldn’t hide well her small mimics towards you. She has been waiting, waiting for your steps. But you didn’t direct her. Currently Misa is killing for you. She has the other Death Note, that’s a fact. I counted with this outcome as I let her go. It has become obvious as the murders continued after Higuchi’s death. Misa didn’t have the book until that time, until we found the notebook, until you touched it. In the rain I was thinking about the possibilities. I hoped that somehow my calculations were wrong, and I just… I just focused on you to be  _him_ , but on the other hand, Kira is not you. I can’t trust in anyone. I analyse them. I can analyse anyone, except you and it’s embarrassed me. I couldn’t be subjective when you were in my sight, but I have had to keep you close to me because of that more. I wished that somehow you’ll take a mistake and I will finally know the truth, but I hoped in the opposite too. I hoped that my senses just couldn’t abstract from you. If you were me, you couldn’t be too. The weird and genius guy who doesn’t respect anyone beside his own rules and even his real name and identity is unknown… You should be suspect me as Kira obviously, if you had been me. I hope that you see it. Otherwise both of us are incapable to lose. Kira can’t lose too. I was curious if I take some weird action to understand you, like an extremely sudden movement from me what you can’t put anywhere, how will you react to it. I would have liked to know you behind your mask, behind your two kind of behaviour. Two, because your behaviour between the last few weeks of your captivity and the finding of the notebook, you were different, like a totally different person. I would have liked to know which one is you, which kind of persona in real. Basically, I played with three outcomes, and I was sure you will lead yourself to one of them, and then I will manage to figure it out in fine.”

He paused his speech to look to the other for a moment, but Light’s expression didn’t show any reaction to it. Of course, he was exactly knew that that wasn’t the real conclusion yet, and he was still out of obvious evidences, that was just his words, thus he continued, hoping that after that he would manage to extract some conclusive exhibit from him, and obvious proof that he is Kira.

“One: you will not react to my action at all. Nothing will happen. It will be weird, both for us, but after that everything will go smoothly as nothing has been happened, as it should be naturally between two kind after an embarrassing action. Two: you will think that somehow you should react to it, in which occurrence it comes with the ’A’ and the ’B’ outcome. A: you are not Kira, but you know that I think, you are and you will react to it according to this fact to play normally, but your movements will become frustrated, only in a natural way, what I will definitely notice. Your actions will prove me about your innocence. B: you are Kira and you will take every possibility to convince me about the reverse. In which case you feel necessary to act possibly less weird to distract my suspicious thoughts about you. In this outcome you will make a mistake and act opposite like your role. I counted it as the most likely possibility. The only question was how far could you go to convince me? Firstly I couldn’t imagine what will you do in this case, but I knew that I should have stayed in my place and pocket what you were going to do. Because against you the only saving proof is the notebook itself. The only disturbing thing what save you are the mismatching datas, the last two rules in the back of the Death Note. If there won’t be, everything could be pure and clear. The evidence is in hand. The names, the known details, everything. I was already suspected you and Misa. If somehow I should find out the book’s real usage and the truth about the two rules, the case would have been finally solved. If I won’t play with other’s life with it I would already tried out and wrote a name on it. If the second rule won’t be written. But to tell the truth, my words don’t count in real, I only has waited for Watari’s call, to get the way to the assurance about Kira’s identity and catch him in fine. Till then I’ve just wag my chin to get time, but the call came so anything else is worthless then.” he said with a grin smile in his face.

“What was about his call?” Light asked not reacting to the rest of the train of thoughts.

L looked to him and started to bite smoothly his fingers. Like his usual habit when he hasn’t had sweets or cakes near to his surroundings.

“Soon you’ll know it.” he said shortly.

_Damn it!_

“Otherwise, tell me Light Yagami, the thought of raping me was already in your mind and you just waited for the perfect time and place or you just improvised in fine? I know what you are thinking momentary, and yes, I’d known it. I almost calculated with this aspect. Otherwise you managed to surprise me. I was just too curious to wait how far you would go to get me. I have to confess, I hesitated for a moment when you said you have started to like me. For a naive moment I thought it was true and I was wrong, but I also knew that I couldn’t be such fond to believe in it for only a slight second. You lied. You had to lie. Everything what you have ever done was a lie. Your actions were a lie, you lied to me, you lied to yourself. You thought as with this lie, you could get me but you’ve just led yourself to my final option. You thought that however you would hate it, you had had to do it. I have to say, you were wrong. You did not tame me, you aroused me. Only a question: if I give you now my real name, would you capable to kill me or would you hesitate? That’s the thought what currently can’t let me calm. I would be curious if you have enough courage to do this face to face or you just give this role to someone else and watch it. I can’t decide which outcome you would enjoy more. Anyway I have to say I am slightly disappointed. I thought that somehow you wouldn’t lead yourself as easy to an obvious trap as you just did.”

Light before he could have explained even for himself at all, what was he doing exactly and why, he throwed L off his ridiculous siting position and grabbed his neck. The living serial killer inside him had too strong survivor instinct to stay motionless after the other’s previous monologue. He played under a quick thought with the idea to break L’s neck now. His fingers were already on the thin, so much sensitive and weak bodypart. Only a small press and he managed to get rid of him in fine and he won. He has already killed people and led them to theirs fate, although not face to face and with his bare hands, but the main point was the same:  _dead_. But as he looked down to L, the sight of his gasping friend, made wake him up.

“For God’s sake, stop it, Ryuzaki!” shouted he to the pale adolescent and to make a point, he, for a moment, squeezed the other’s neck. “I’m not Kira! Get that notion out of your head in fine!”

“Ad- .. _hhh…_  mit- it- … _hhh…_  you- … _hhh…_  can’t- … _hhh…_  do- it.” he said with the rest of breathe in his lungs.

Light freezed for a moment, then, after a long second, he released him. L needed a whole minute to get his normal breathe back. He still a bit blitheringly of the lack of oxygen, sat up and absently gazed to the space, then caught his black eyes to Light.

“Anyway, it doesn’t count what you do. You’ll be always a liar, Light Yagami and soon I’ll make you to tell the truth, even if it means my failure.” he mumbled.

“What are you talking about?”

“However it will come sooner than I’ve expected.” he whispered wonderingly his previous thought, forgetting or not noticing the other’s sounded question. But then he made a gaze to the brown haired man, like nothing had happened earlier. “Please follow me to the monitoring room. It’s time to close this case in fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> If it is necessary, it could be connected to my current work-collection ('Pieces of a puzzle'), 'cause I mentioned slightly N. And - in the (rather far) future - I would like to write about their meeting, and that occassion, what I referred. But it is not important. This one could be read independently from those ones. I just would like to write down this possibility if it catches one's mind. :)


End file.
